so we have this next door neighbor called Ted but my dad calls him ned (like ned flanders XD) and he's ok I guess. Anyway today we got a card through the letter box that said 'To Phillip, Jane and family'. So I'm family so I open it and wtf, the card on the inside says 'to phillip, jane and family, merry christmas love ted'.

Um why didn't he write my name? I was like totally uber pissed because he always ignores me and this was a real insult so I went up to my mom and told her he touched me under the bridge lol. She's onto the police right now, I'll let you know how it goes...

So here's the deal, i'm sat there playing diamond on my DS when the doorbell rings. It's Uncle stephanie, my old uncle steve who's halfway through a sex change or somethin'. But right now he looks like some fat guy in a dress. Anyways i'm about to catch this uber sweet Bronzor XD, when my pop comes in and asks me to go grab uncle stephanie a soda pop from the kitchen and im all dude wtf?

so anyways im coming back from the kitchen and, wtf, uncle stephanie is sat where i was sitting on the couch! I order him to stand up and DUDE, he's squished my DS, the stylus is snapped in two. I kicked him as hard as i could in the shin and screamed at the top of my lungs until my pop came rushing in. I cried and said uncle stephanie had touched me in my pants. Dad punched her and called the police, but the best thing is i can get a new DS and maybe a wii! XD

That'll teach uncle stephanie